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Mistress Lucy Khan interview | 5/25/2020 @LaMaisonduRouge on Periscope

Happy Summer sluts!

As we move towards the summer solstice and the days grow longer, I’m thinking about how to expand during a time when so much of the world is still contracted. When space is tight, the only option for expansion is depth–digging deeper into ourselves to discover the treasures that are yet to be unearthed within. In line with this ethic, I’m excited to announce that I will be in conversation with NYC-based Dominatrices Dia Dynasty and Lucy Sweetkill this Monday, May 25th at 4pm PST on Periscope via @LaMaisondeRouge 

I’ll be discussing some of My kinky history, evolving approach to BDSM, current projects, and personal fetishes. As some of you might already know, I believe BDSM is a journey into the self, which allows for you to evolve and actualize through intimacy, surrender, and exchange. As I mature into My dominance, I find that the pleasure I receive from kink infuses My daily life in a way that’s increasingly present. This kind of integration of mind, body, and soul through engaging deviancy is what I’m currently interested in cultivating in My self and My submissives…

If you yearn to learn more about Me on a deeper level, I encourage you to tune into this live interview tomorrow. For those of you who can’t make it, I’ve included an older interview with Yours Truly conducted last summer by Chicago-based Mistress Cadence below

Asian dominatrix Lucy Khan interview

Why did you become a dom? What do you enjoy about doming?

As a first generation Asian American woman, some of the demographic boxes My identity checks can be construed as a liability or weakness. However, through My work as a professional Dominatrix, I’m able to harness those very characteristics that have been used historically to hold down people like Me to lift Myself up–financially, interpersonally, and spiritually.

I became a dominatrix because I wanted to use My body, mind, and other inherent traits to create change for Myself and the world around Me. Exercising My powers as an Asian Femme to wield control over men (especially white, straight, cis men for which the dominant culture is made for) is–in My eyes–an act of justice-making. Using pleasure and desire as a way to exchange power in a palpable, tangible way is one of the aspects of My job that I find most meaningful and enjoyable.

How long have you been a dom?

I’ve been a proDomme since 2011.

When did your journey with kink begin? When did you know you wanted to become a dom?

Looking back at My personal history, I’ve always been interested in bodies, and the ways that we humans manipulate the bodies of others and ourselves. I remember being intensely fascinated by the extreme body modification community whose members performed tongue splitting, heavy gauging, even nullification of male genitals for a period of time. I see this kind of performative and boundary-testing orientation to the body as very much related to the practice of BDSM, where we are both delineating our positions by our wardrobe and ornamentation, and asking the body to push beyond its everyday functions as delineated by default, mainstream culture. Perhaps this is why I’m so in love with chastity training and it way it can be harnessed to produce real behavior change in the male subject.

I also recently found a photo of Me with a highschool boyfriend where I was holding a candlestick up to his booty as if I were strapping him on! I had no memory of this little basement photoshoot that we no doubt did for laughs at the time, but seeing that photo with 20/20 hindsight, it seems like I’ve been interested in flipping traditional gender script for a very long time. However, it wasn’t until I met a friend of a friend in my early 20’s–who was working as a dominatrix at the time–that I realized I could put My interest in controlling and experimenting with the bodies to work in a BDSM context. I didn’t have the language at the time to express My Dominant orientation and I’m so grateful now that I do now!

How would you describe your style?  What does being dominant look like to you?

One of My most natural states is embodying the archetype of the Mean Girl–you know, the Queen B or Lady Jock who owns the space around Her and all those who happen to be occupying it. Using My feminine wiles to alternately tease, torment, strongarm, and cajole subs to do things they never thought possible is an absolute delight! I love expressing My superiority through the objectification of others–using them as a thing to amuse Myself. Because after all, I am a Woman who loves to laugh…

This means that I embrace the playful aspects of BDSM “play”, and enjoy finding humor in the humiliation, suffering, and submission of My play partner. However, this doesn’t always mean that the tone of My scenes are light–play for Me also entails taking on darker and more somber energies when the chemistry is right. That’s why taboo role plays where I take on the role of a perverse Mommy figure, power-drunk FBI agent, abusive teacher, or sinister step-daughter are always high on My list of favorites! In My personal blog, I write about the fact that My dominance comes from a place of juliance and entitlement, you can definitely read more about it here.

What’s something you gained from being a dom that you didn’t expect?

Growing up in the midwest, it was always in the air that girls/women were supposed to be sweet, accommodating, and the object of another’s (read: man’s) desire, so for a long time, I allowed the parts of Myself that gained pleasure from control, aggression, and ruthlessness to be expressed only through sports. This certainly worked to produce a fierce competitor in Me, but I can’t deny that I felt penned in by this Jekyll and Hyde strategy I had employed for so long.

So when I first stepped into proDomming, I had little exercise expressing My dominance off the pitch. Through BDSM, I found a context and a community that welcomed and encouraged the expression of those aspects of My personality in multiple dimensions. Today, I find Myself much more in harmony with all the complexities I embody–and the principles of Female Dominance have pretty much fused with My everyday life. My partner and I have a Female Led Relationship (FLR) where I feel that I can blossom into all 110% of Myself. I’m so grateful that My work as a Domme has helped Me create a home both with My partner and within Myself that can house My desires. I never expected BDSM to be such a healing experience for Me as a top, but over the past  8 years, it’s certainly proven to be the best medicine I could have asked for.

How do you prepare for a scene?

I usually will review My playmate’s interests–if they are new to Me–while I’m going through the ritual of doing My hair and makeup. I find that taking time and space to get Myself in a centered mindset makes all the difference for My experience of the session, even if My submissives can’t always tell the difference. I try to practice meditation on a daily basis and like to take a couple minutes of silence to find that quietness inside before a session if I have time. As Dommes, we often give so much of ourselves in bringing a fantasy to life, so recently I’ve started experimenting with ways to carve out some sacred space within Myself to honor My own desires and pleasure before bringing a sub into My space.

What’s your pet peeve about this business?

I am miffed and perplexed when perspective subs don’t put any thought into their introductory emails. You want to submit your body, mind, and soul to Me but can’t put in any more effort than a “hey let’s session!” with no additional information? Us proDommes often make it VERY CLEAR how we wish to be contacted and what information to include. As a sub, ask yourself: If you can’t demonstrate that you have the ability to follow basic instructions, why would any Dominatrix want to play with you?

What advice do you have for new doms?

Try everything once (or twice)! When I was new to proDomming, I said yes to most types of scenes because sometimes you don’t know what you like or don’t like until you’ve actually step through it IRL. If there was something I wanted to say yes to but didn’t have much experience in, I was honest about that with my play partner–and more often than not, they would offer to teach Me the technical aspects of the activity they were interested in. Many subs who seek you out as a new Domina do so because of the very fact that you are new to the scene–so be confident in your freshness, curiosity, and limited experience and work that to your advantage! All that said, always do check in with yourself and make sure you’re respecting your own personal boundaries in terms of level of intimacy you’re offering. You can always loosen up after getting to know a sub over time, but it is difficult to erect stricter boundaries if you’ve played it fast and loose from the start.

Where can people find you (Social media, Instagram , twitter, website?

Anything you’d like to promote?

I think I’ve said enough for the time being :)  But if you hope to meet Me in person, make sure to subscribe to My blog with your email on My official website, or follow Me on twitter to keep abreast of My upcoming travels. Looking forward to having you all under Me soon…

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